While you are single
I know at times it may seem like everyone is in a relationship, according to census.gov, 50% of U.S adults are single, about 126 million people. That is a lot of single people. Are they productive while single?
Being single is great. Few look at it as a blessing most may think of it as a curse. Ok, curse is a strong word. Out of those people, I wonder who is taking the time to be alone, and to improve themselves before jumping into a relationship.
People just do not like being single. They don’t like sitting with themselves. People don’t like spending time with alone and reflecting. They do not like improving themselves while they are single. Often, they may not realize anything is even wrong that needs to be improved.
I used to feel the same way. Over the past two years, my outlook on being single has changed, and it will never be the same. Being single can be amazing if you allow it to be.
While you are single you do not have to worry about anyone else. Taking the time out to love, care, and heal for your own sake is so vital. With that being said, I have four things I am working on, and I think all singles should focus on. As you read this ask yourself, where is my focus?
While your Single: Heal from Past pain, trauma, and unresolved Issues
You may be thinking to yourself, past pain, trauma? Nope, not me. Well, yes you, everyone has gone through something that has greatly impacted their life. You need heal from that. You do not want to take that excess baggage into a new relationship.
I realize that so many people do not believe in needing therapy, life coaching or even having a mentor. It is important that we put all our pride aside and prioritize ourselves. Everyone has had something happen to us no matter what it may be that we just cannot seem to shake. Maybe you cannot seem to let go of the way it made you feel inside, and you carry that on through life and in relationships hurting other people. Often times, we do not examine ourselves because we are not self-aware and do not realize the issue is us.
First, I want to discuss therapy. Therapy is a safe and open environment to freely discuss anything you would like. It’s a great start to begin your healing journey. Therapy has been a catalyst in my personal self-healing and discovery journey. Another excellent source would be a life coach. Their primary job is to hold you accountable and guide you through challenges. No sugar coating here, they keep it real!
I challenge you to begin one or both options starting this week. Don’t be afraid, it’s time to let go of the negative, hurt, pain, and trauma to allow peace, abundance, and happiness to enter your life. Do this while you are single and free without any major external worries or stressors.
This life is short-lived, pain and unforgiveness aren’t going anywhere but you are. Live intentionally. – Kelly Sabrina
Focus on Becoming the Best Version of You
We live in a tech-savvy society. The era of social media. It’s a blessing yet a curse at the same time. We are constantly scrolling looking at someone’s highlight reel, comparing ourselves to them. We need to be focused on becoming the best versions of ourselves especially while single.
Stop comparing yourself: We put too much focus on how others are living their life. We see who and when they started dating, got married, and had kids. Then the comparison starts.
Time to stop this vicious cycle. Take some time to care for and love yourself. Take time to deeply reflect on a time when you felt you were at your best. What do you have to do to get back to that point?
Whether that is fasting from social media, fasting from certain friends or family, or even fasting from certain foods. Do what is necessary to reach that version of yourself. Shift the focus on
Focus on the positive: One way I am progressively becoming the best version of myself is by shutting out what society says I should look like, act like, or talk like. This can have a negative impact on how you view yourself. You start seeing all the things you don’t life about yourself and want to change.
Another thing to note is what you’re watching on tv. Be mindful of what you listen to. There is so much none sense and love and relationships on YouTube and podcast it’s ridiculous. While you are single the last thing you want is someone speaking negative about men, women, or singleness.
Every single day focus on positivity and have gratitude. Turn on a motivational speech or a sermon. When listening to music listen to music without lyrics this way your mind can’t drift. If listening to music with lyrics make sure it has a positive message and something affirming.
Do everything with excellence: No matter what you do in life, do it with excellence. This means when you’re at work serve with excellence, communicate with excellence, and set the standard. Many people do when it comes to anything in life. They are always taking shortcuts and looking for the quick way to get something done. I won’t lie and say I haven’t had the same mindset. But it is something I am working on daily.
Remove mediocrity from your lifestyle. Future you will be thankful. – Kelly Sabrina
Focus on achieving your dream
I want you to close your eyes and go back to when you were let’s say eight years old. Who did you want to be when you grew up? How did you think you would speak? What career did you think you’d have? What personality did you think you’d have?
Are you that person you thought you’d be now? Or are you so far from that you don’t even recognize yourself? You don’t even recognize yourself which is not necessarily a bad thing because of course you don’t have the same viewpoint on the life you had when you were eight. When you were that age you were able to dream so freely and felt that one day those dreams would come true.
Well…guess what… they can. But you must work hard for them. First, you need to have a vision. Know want you want to achieve and how you are going to do it. Write it down. Then make decisions that will bring you closer to reaching your dream and not farther from it. This can be very difficult, but you have your vision to keep you on track.
Do you find yourself watching reality tv all day, Netflix, YouTube…? Trying to escape your reality? Why? Because of the unhealed pain of your past or a traumatic experience? Take that pain and allow it to fuel your dreams. Work on creating financial freedom and stability for you and your future family. Do this while you are single your future family will thank you in the future.
Never stop dreaming and never stop chasing the dream. Never give up on yourself because others will easily. – Kelly Sabrina
Improve your physical Health
Remember the old saying when you look better you feel better. well, it’s true. As shallow as it may seem people judge based on your physical appearance, it is the first thing that is seen. This is nothing new and will not change no matter how you may view it. While you are single there is no point in beating around the bush when it comes to your physical appearance. Do you feel you look the best you can look? Do you feel your best?
We are judged by our appearance: It’s so important to present your best self everywhere you go, especially while you are single and want to eventually meet someone. Just think, do you really want to meet the potential love of your life with greasy unkept hair, and the same black legging you have been wearing all week with that slight smell. I don’t think so.
Guys….women like a clean well-kept man. Get a haircut, take a shower, and brush your teeth!
Do you think the man or woman of your dreams will take one look at you and it will be love at first sight as you stand looking and feeling your worst? The answer is NO.
Hear me out, no we are not losing or gaining weight for a man or woman solely. Of course, naturally, everyone who is single at least has that in the back of their minds when working toward building a better physique. This shouldn’t be the main reason, do it for you so you can live a long healthy life.
Eat Healthy, Feel Healthy, Look Healthy = confidence: As you are on your journey to becoming the best physical version of yourself. Take it as fast or slow as you want to. Remember you are doing this for yourself. Do not focus on the journey of others but enjoy your own process. If you Focus on eating healthier day by day, you start to feel healthy. Self-care is a must. Get a haircut, try a new style, buy some new clothes or shoes. All of this helps you feel better about yourself and builds confidence.
You begin telling yourself you’re a healthy person. As you eat and feel healthy, your physical appearance improves, and you feel confident about your appearance. Improving your physical appearance is a major confidence boost. I know many men and women find it incredibly attractive when someone is confident in themselves and who they are.
After reading this, reflect deeply on your life and where it has been going. Think about where your focus has been. Has it been on you finding a man or women in your life to comfort you? Finding that ‘right’ person? Instead focus on becoming that amazing man or women so you can be the right fit for that special someone one day.
What has been your focus while you are single?
